Sitting in the dark not being very productive on a day off besides some music practice and some long daydream/thinking time. Thought I'd interrupt the tangent my mind is going off on right now with some narrative. Plus I haven't written in a while and writing directly into my blogs post box is oddly comforting. Here we go.

the lake

"This one... this one for sure." I say as I set down my towel and begin removing my shoes. I am at the edge of a pristine lake. The bottom is invisible in the blackness of the waters depth. Around all its edges I see a warped world turned upside-down.

I can hear someone call from very far away. "Why that one?"

The question puzzles me for a moment and I am forced to think instead of act. Hesitation; my first mistake. But the inquiry is valid, what makes this lake special? Perhaps my journey holds the answer.

I've spent the better part of the past year living out of the water in search of a new home. My skin has dried and cracked, my gills have congealed and filled with smog. I don't think after enduring what I have until this point that I would waste my time again by settling in just any pond with clear waters... so what is different this time? I must have stopped here for a reason and the only way to find out the potential of this place is to jump in.

Uncertainty holds me back, standing naked on big rock by the lakes shore. With one foot I test the temperature. Cold shoots through my toes and I pull back. An hour passes and I am still standing there, my cloths beside me, staring longingly into the water. Part of me tells me that if I stop being a pussy and dive in; my body will eventually adjust and I will be at peace, I will know then what it was that brought me to this new home. But the hesitance will not leave my blood, I cannot forget the signs I read while hiking here.

"Beware Waters: Instant Hypothermia"

While I have grown accustomed to frozen creeks and glaciers, the blackness of the water beneath me appears beautifully foreboding. I stand and shiver wishing these waves would just sweep me from their shore and drown my indecision.