New best friend.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. - Steve Jobs

I haven't tried writing again for a little bit so I'm just going to vent off a little poetry to satisfy whatever creature it is inside me that feels the need to criticize my blissful but cowardly laziness.

But first I must ask myself why I am even now questioning my intuition. I can't blame what has happened in the past because even if others actions back then are to blame for my current social/personal reservations, blaming does nothing to change my present situation for the better. Instead I will indulge the idea that some people simply don't require or want the same things I do, and it is up to me to be brave enough to stand up to row after row of these people as they strip me of all my defences. Until I can truly be open to love without regret with the one person who wants what I want.



I speared my fingers deep into the wound
through tears that tore my skin I peered
I grasped the mass inside and pulled
"This is my scar." I said, it pulsated.
"This is my scar." I said, "Take it, it's yours."

You were young and took it to be popular
to have someone to tell your friends about
but the scar felt better in my chest
and your hands felt better on someone else's neck

I speared my fingers deep into the wound
through tears that tore my skin I peered
I grasped the mass inside and pulled
"This is my scar." I said, it pulsated.
"This is my scar." I said, "Take it, it's yours."

You were immature and took it for a change of pace
you ripped into the cut without restraint
but you mixed blood with blood
and tore friends apart
so I took the scar
away from you

I speared my fingers deep into the wound
through tears that tore my skin I peered
I grasped the mass inside and pulled
"This is my scar." I said, it pulsated.
"This is my scar." I said, "Take it, it's yours."

You were kind and took it for yourself
but realized that it wasn't yours to take
so after we indulged our veins
you put it back without spilling a drop of blood.

I speared my fingers deep into the wound
through tears that tore my skin I peered
I grasped the mass inside and pulled
"This is my scar." I said, it pulsated.
"This is my scar." I said, "Take it, it's yours."

You were right the first time you took the scar,
but insisted on giving it back.
When you took it again
the world changed around me.

your hand in my chest
you had to be close
you feared when I left
that the scar had gone.

only that's not what happened is it?
he just made you feel
different
inside his chest.
I get it.

I speared my fingers deep into the wound
through tears that tore my skin I peered
I grasped the mass inside and pulled
"This is my scar." I said, it pulsated.
"This is my scar." I said, "Take it, it's yours."

You were brave and took it to be genuine
But concealed a truth from me;
taught me to appreciate honesty
and to have no fear

I speared my fingers deep into the wound
through tears that tore my skin I peered
I grasped the mass inside and pulled
"This is my scar." I said, it pulsated.
"This is my scar." I said, "Take it, it's yours."

You took it in your boredom
and your boredom did not change
you left it outside on the deck
in the sun it melted
and then it felt no pain

I speared my fingers deep into the wound
through tears that tore my skin I peered
I grasped the mass inside and pulled
"This is my scar." I said, it pulsated.
"This is my scar." I said, "Take it, it's yours."

You refused to take it
(a bruised open sore)
you wished me luck
and said goodbye
taught me friends can love;
but shouldn't fake it

I speared my fingers deep into the wound
through tears that tore my skin I peered
I grasped the mass inside and pulled
"This is my scar." I said, it pulsated.
"This is my scar." I said, "Take it, it's yours."

I feel beat and wasted now
I feel beat and wasted now
I could tell you all I've learned
but I feel beat and wasted now