I've given myself too many choices that I want equally, and none can wait. I've gone as far as I can without making a final decision. What ever I do now will be taking a chance. Can I count on the people I care about to be receptive to my decisions? This is the major question I have yet to answer. It's scary to think that the only way I'll find out is if I try and choose a direction. Do I go right, left or forward? Do I follow my gut, my ambition or my heart; when all three pull different ways? I'm stuck in a triangular vice and I'm being drawn in thirds from the inside out. Slowly I've been ripping, constantly focused on trying to heal over all that gets torn from my indecisive behaviour. I'm realizing that I can't have everything, at least not yet. But what part of my future is strong enough to be abandoned? What do I want and who is the "I" that is always wanting?
Do I want to stay for my family? Or is it just because this is where I feel safe, even when I'm unhappy?
Do I want to take my art around the world? Or is that nagging voice in my head right and I really don't have what it takes?
Do I take the biggest risk of all? Or am I just looking for a way out of here?