Finally decided to man up and make the decision to go out west on my own... (well I'll be traveling across with a friend) But no more waiting for things to all fall into place. I've got the rough of it sorted out now I just have to find an apartment/roommate, convince the manager at a hotel that I'm the best and he should just hire me without meeting me so I know I have a job and start working on figuring out how I'm paying for school.

I hope this means that I'm starting to get my confidence back, it really sucks being so unsure of everything. Gone are the days when I could do and say anything without questioning myself, instead I spend much of my time apologizing for things I needn't feel sorry for.

One day, or maybe for just like twenty seconds I will have the courage I used to have. I'll be able to say and do all the things I've ever wanted to and I will feel truly happy.