It is far too easy to ask questions without seeking answers. For it is searching for a truth that puts the curious at risk. He is in danger of being intrusive and obtuse. There is given no other option if he wishes to remove the shroud covering the answers he seeks.
...
I need to start going out more or something during the week. I don't feel comfortable being alone and I really want to meet somebody that I can connect with. I realize that connecting with somebody takes a lot of time and effort sometimes but I've totally forget how to develop relationships. I feel like I'm trying too hard a lot of the time, but then when I ease up I get the feeling that I seem disinterested. Thinking about how all of this is being processed chemically just fucks with me even more and I go into these thought loops until I have absolutely no idea what's going on anymore. All week I feel like I've been transfixed in one mindset and I can't seem to escape it. I hate part of myself right now which doesn't happen all that often.
I feel fingers around my throat and I think they are mine.